Sudden Fiction Draft #2 - Graceful Artistic Yangtze

How can I tell her?...

“Adrian…”

“Adrian…”

“Adrian!!”

Adrian jumped back into reality after being lost in his deep thoughts and turned to his girlfriend Susan, whose blue eyes looked pretty annoyed. “Sorry…I guess I was thinking too much again” Adrian said, laughing nervously afterwards. Susan shook her head and continued munching on her Caesar salad. Adrian looked down and continued eating as well, feeling awkward during the sudden silence.

After finishing their meals, Susan got rid of their garbage on the table and looked towards Adrian with earnest eyes. She probably didn’t think he did, but he noticed and already knew what was coming. “Will you watch a movie with me?”

And there it was. Another question concerning their time spent together. Another question Adrian had to answer with a no. “…Sorry Sue, I have a lot of work to do again this evening concerning my author’s storyboard…” Susan turned around, going into her fridge for a water bottle; Adrian could hear her sigh. He already could see she was hurt, and the look on her face hurt him more each time he did this. Getting up from his seat, Adrian began putting his jacket on and getting his bag together so he could leave. Walking together to the door to bid farewell, Adrian faced Susan beginning to say “I’m sor-,” but before he could even finish Susan put a finger to his lips, shushing him. “It’s okay, I know you have a lot of work hun,” and then she smiled the saddest smile ever. Adrian felt like his heart sank down to his feet. After hugging Susan goodbye, he almost leaned in to give her a goodnight kiss as he always forced himself to do, but suddenly it felt like he shouldn’t. He decided to just wish her a good night and head on his way. It’s not right, her receiving a kiss from such betraying lips…

When Adrian arrived on the floor of his apartment, he was waiting there. “Charles, have you been waiting long?” Adrian asked, a bit surprised that Charles had even gotten there this early, it was only 8 pm. “No, not really.” Charles replied with a smile. The smile that Adrian loved, the smile that seemed to always make him feel like he was melting. Taking his keys out, Adrian could feel Charles staring.

“Yes?”

“Did you tell her?”

Here we go again…Adrian thought to himself. Another question that he didn’t want to answer. Another question that he knew would lead to a down mood for the night.

“No…” They entered the apartment quietly, setting their things down in the living room. “Come on Adrian, how long do you expect me to wait? I want you to be completely mine already!” Adrian could hear the anger building up in Charles’ voice. Again, he felt his heart drop. He couldn’t even look Charles in the face. Even he was confused as to why he just couldn’t seem to get the words out whenever he tried bringing it up. Charles sighed and sat on the sofa. “I’ll be patient with you Adrian…but I can’t wait forever. I love you. Did you not say you feel the same?” “I do! Feel the same I mean. I do love you…it’s just…it’s not the right time yet, I guess.” Adrian averted his eyes, still standing in the spot he was in after they entered his apartment. “There better be a right time soon.” Charles replied, patting the spot next to him on the sofa, indicating his wish for Adrian to sit with him.

Adrian sat down next to his secret gay lover, leaning his head on his shoulder. Charles turned on the tv across from them with the remote and searched for something interesting. While Charles did that, Adrian had a million questions for himself running through his head. How will he tell Susan that he’s actually gay? And just how will he fit in the part about having a secret lover for the past 5 months during his relationship with her?

Reflection

Based on my 2nd workshop, I now plan to revise my ending, focusing on the last paragraph. I need to change the way I end the story in order to help my character have a change through this story. The character seems to stay the same, leaving the story at a questioning place for readers. So I plan to keep working on my ending to see how I can change it.